I look like a completely ridiculous person.
....Proooobably because I am a completely ridiculous person.
No matter what country I live in, this is generally true. But in Nepal - where I stick out like an American in Nepal...oh wait - it is especially true.
Don't believe me? Doubt it. But I'll give you some real life examples anyways.
Example #1: The Bus
Yes, I know, I have mentioned how ridiculous I am on the bus before. But it is seriously so hilarious that I am writing about it again. Now, besides the huge american body that gets in the way and the priceless looks I get, there is a whole nother (WHAT? IS NOTHER A WORD???) ridiculous aspect of me riding the bus.
Finding and flagging down the RIGHT bus.
Imagine 50 buses flying past you with only Nepali writing on them, and you are supposed to find the one going to New Baneshwor. Not as easy as it sounds...cause it sounds so easy right?
I have adopted a strategy. And it is very smart and tricky, if I do say so myself.
I stand on the side of the road and whenever a bus passes, I flag them down like I know with all my heart that it is MY bus. Then when they pull up I ask them "New Baneshwor, New Baneshwor???"
They proceed to say no and drive on, very angry with the stupid (genius) white girl who slowed them down.
and BOOYAH! Eventually I always find one going home!
Then there is the challenge of getting the bus to stop at my corner. When I am sitting in the seat in the far back corner, no one can hear my pleas for help! So I have to get over my embarrassment, and just scream "BHAI! RATNARAJYA!!" (that translates to: Hey dude, drop me off at my corner called Ratnarajya)
then everyone stares at me and moves for me to get out. I politely say thank you and jump off (8/10 times smacking my head on the way out).
Nepal Microbus (BFF).
18 people can be crammed in one of these. Without counting the driver and money boy.
Example #2: Grocery Shopping
I am slowly learning that I need to accept the fact that I have no privacy here. Especially in the grocery store. While on my monthly excursion to the grocery store, people seriously FOLLOW me around the store, wondering what-in-ganesh's-name a foreigner would buy at a grocery store. Um....food?
My favorite is when I get to the shampoo aisle and a flock of teenage girls follow my every move, wondering what shampoo I will buy. Sometimes I linger and then quickly rush back and forth between Garnier Fructis to Loreal in a frenzy, just to add some excitement to their lives (and mine).
I don't even attempt to buy rice. With so many different kinds, I can only imagine how much laughter that would bring.
In other news, I found NESTLE HOT CHOCOLATE. thazwazzzup. It is also mandarin season here. It won't be hard to guess what Kate's ENTIRE diet consists of.
Back to how much of a fool I look like constantly.
Example #3: My attempts at playing Cricket.
I am pretty embarrassed - but not enough to not post it on the world wide web - that I had no idea what cricket was when I moved here.
I honestly thought it was the game you played in the grass with the upside down hammer and the little metal things stuck in the grass. I don't even know what that game is called, now that I know it's definitely not Cricket.
GAH my stupidity amazes me sometimes.
For the last 5 minutes I have tried to find out what that game is called (with the upside down hammers) and I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. whoever tells me wins one of these:
Boy or Girl? No one will ever know...
Back to cricket (with bats and ballers).
There is a court close to my house, and when the kids play, I convince them to let me bat. The only rule is that they have to throw the ball softly. I play with them until I hit the ball, which is when I proceed to throw the bat and run home yelling "HOME RUN!!!"
....I totally don't annoy them AT ALL.
So, my case is closed. I am a crazy person.
Next thing you know, I'll be doing something insane like moving to Nepal.
(Oh, and I'm totally listening to Justin Bieber right now)